Архив конференции Fidonet HUMOR.FILTERED,
нагло упертый мной с http://hf.kru.to/
(координатор - Евгений Плисс), и переведенный в html :-)
- HUMOR.FILTERED ---------------------------------------------- HUMOR.FILTERED - From : Basil Dolmatov 2:5020/50.40 12 Jan 94 00:17:30 Subj : (SB) Church of Objectology (fwd) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ============================================================================= * Forwarded by Eugene Krainov (2:5051/1.2) * Area : CMP.LNG.PASCAL (Pascal, однако...) * From : leec@us.dynix.com, 2:5051/4.101 (07 Jan 94 20:19) * To : All * Subj : (SB) Church of Objectology (fwd) ============================================================================= X-RealName: Lee Crites Organization: U.S. Army Research Lab (ARL), APG, MD. This showed up in my mailbox today, and it was sooooooo funny, that I just <HAD> to share it with the rest of you..... This is destin to become one of those classics, like the C-hoax document, etc. Lee ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Subject: (SB) Church of Objectology !1 OTC 04/01 0545 BORLAND INTERNATIONAL FILES FOR NON-PROFIT STATUS SCOTTS VALLEY, CA (APR. 1) BUSINESS WIRE - In a move many industry analysts consider a visionary cost-cutting measure, Borland International Inc. (NASDAQ:BORL) announced on Thursday that it would register with the federal government as a non-profit organization, and reorganize. In order to qualify as a non-profit organization under the government's strict tax laws, Borland announced plans to become the Church of Objectology, a religion dedicated to the holy mission of producing object-oriented software. The Church's fundamental belief is that all things earthly are objects to be used and exchanged. Employees of Borland, now acolytes, must make a declaration of faith and denounce any other religious affiliations. The profession of faith will be performed in a private ceremony. The ceremony will be monitored by an agent of the Internal Revenue Service on permanent assignment at the Church. "We're very excited by this plan. Many of our employees have said that they have no life outside of Borland, and we've responded to that," said Doug Cuenin, former Borland Human Resources Vice President and current Grand Indoctrinator of the Church. "As followers of the Church, our acolytes enjoy tax-free 'aid', and through their work the code is spread. It's a win-win situation for all involved." Cuenin also announced that a wall would be built around the Church campus, currently under construction. Programmers working for the Church will now be a cloistered order; their only permitted contact with the outside world will be to attend conferences. "I have seen the light, and it is code. It is object-oriented code. It is good." Said Bob Warfield, former Borland head of Research & Development and current High Deliverer of the Sacred Code. "Our conversion will result in a price increase, but that money is now a donation, and the user will definitely see a savings come next April. It's a win-win situation for everyone," said Alan Hendricks, former Borland Finance head and current Sacred Keeper of Alms. "Since donations must be voluntary under the law, users can order software from the Church without making a donation." The Church also announced the release of AlmsBase, a Paradox for Windows application designed to track users who have received Church software but haven't made their donation. Using DDE links to Windows multi-media extensions, AlmsBase calls users at random, playing various Disco selections until a valid donation is registered. "Many religions have expressed an interest in licensing the system," said Spencer Leyton, former Borland head of Business Development and current Arch-Deacon of Spreading the Code. Philippe Kahn, former head of Borland, has been in seclusion since his promotion to Church Hierophant, and was unavailable for comment. For millions of software developers and believers worldwide, the Church of Objectology is the leader in application development software. A pioneer in the use of object-oriened technology, the Church is committed to offering the world's best database management, programming languages, development tools, spreadsheets and applications software. The Church's products include dBASE, Paradox, InterBase, Quattro Pro, ObjectVision, Sacred C++ and Blessed Pascal with Objects. Founded in 1983 by Philippe Kahn, the Church is headquartered in Scotts Valley, California. CONTACT: The Church of Objectology, Sister Heidi Sinkewicz, 408/555-**** -+- GEcho 1.00+ + Origin: I only want to say ... (FidoNet 2:5051/1.2) ============================================================================= Hi, All! Cheers, Basil (The Edifying Cat) --- GoldED 2.41 * Origin: And our origin has been struck by lightning (FIDO 2:5020/50.40)
