Архив конференции Fidonet HUMOR.FILTERED,
нагло упертый мной с http://hf.kru.to/
(координатор - Евгений Плисс), и переведенный в html :-)
- HUMOR.FILTERED ---------------------------------------------- HUMOR.FILTERED - From : Dmitry Zavalishin 2:5020/32 17 Feb 94 01:50:18 Subj : >> humor.filtered -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hello All. I think, this message from area L.DZ seems to be interesting: --------------------------- Start Cut ------------------------- From : Oleg Danilow, 2:450/90 (16 Feb 94 00:23) To : Dmitry Zavalishin Subj : >> humor.filtered --------------------------------------------------------------- If Software Company's Ran Airlines............. (Forwarded from a JunkFAX network at National Semiconductor) DOS Airlines: Everybody pushes the airplane untill it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast untill it hits the ground again, then they push again, and so on. QEMM Airlines: The same thing as Dos airlines but with more leg room. Mac Airlines: All the stewards, stewardesses, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look the same, act the same, and talk the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are told you don't need to know, you dont want to k now, and that everthing will be do ne for you without you having to know, so just Shut up. OS/2 Airlines: To Board the Plane, you have your Ticket Stamped ten differnt times by standing in ten differnt lines. Then you fill out a form showing where you want to sit and whether the plane should look and feel like a Ocean liner, a passenger train, or a bus. If you succeeed in getting on board the pland and the plane succceeds in getting off the ground, you have a wonderfull trip... except for the times when the rudder and flaps get frozen in position, in which case you have time to say your prayers and get in the crash positon. Windows Airlines: The airport terminal is nice and colorfull, with friendly stewards and stewardesses, easy access to the plane, and a completely uneventuful takeoff, then, once in the air, the plane blows up without any warning whatsoever. Win NT airlines: Everyone Marches out on the runway, sayz the password in unison, and forms the outline of a Airplane. Then they all sit down and make a whoohing sound like the're flying. Unix Airlines: Everyone brings one piece of the plane with them when they come to the airport, they all go out on the runway and put the plane together Piece by Piece, arguing constantly about what k ind of plane they are building. Mach Airlines: This is the Airlines of The NeXT generation. There is no Airplane. The passengers gather and shout for a airplane, then wait and wait and wait and wait. A bunch of people come, each carrying one piece of the plane with them, These people all go out on the runway and put the plane togheter piece by pice, arguing constantly about what type of plane they are building. The Plane FINALLY takes off, leaving the passengers on the groudn waiting and waiting. After the plane lands, the piolot telephones the passengers at the departing airport to inform them that they have arrived. Newton Airlines: After buying your tickets 18 months in advance, you finally get to board the plane. Upon Boarding the plane you are asked fro you name. After 4-6 times, the crew member recognizes your name, and then you are allowed to take your seat. As you are getting ready to take your seat, the stweard announces that you will ha ve to repeat the boarding processs because they are oud of room and need to recount to make shure they can take more passengers. 1994 Joel@nsc.com ^-^ GoldED 2.40+ --------------------------- Final Cut ------------------------- Dmitry --- * Origin: Silent Infinity Surrounds Your Mind (2:5020/32)
