Архив конференции Fidonet HUMOR.FILTERED,
нагло упертый мной с http://hf.kru.to/
(координатор - Евгений Плисс), и переведенный в html :-)
- HUMOR.FILTERED ---------------------------------------------- HUMOR.FILTERED - From : Mikel Lavrentyev 2:5020/35.1 28 Jan 94 12:23:44 Subj : man and women are NOT alike -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- * Forwarded by Mikel Lavrentyev (2:5020/35.1) * Area : net_main (*****: netmail (main)) * From : Oleg Boyko, 2:5020/215.2 (26 Jan 94 15:16) * To : Mikel Lavrentyev, 5020/35.1 * Subj : for HUMOR.FILTERED ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- * Originally to 2:5020/35 Hello Mikel! Вот нашел я в шестом номеpе Windows Programmer's Journal занятное письмо. Я думаю его можно кинуть в эху. Date: 24-May93 11:31 EDT From: Mike Strock >INTERNET:MikeS@asymetrix.com Subj: NEWS BULLETIN - Men and women are NOT alike. Sure, you thought you already knew that. But now we have proof! After countless hours of surveys and studies on the following topics, these facts have emerged. Relationships: Women have deep, meaningful, mutually nurturing relationships. Men have "that time when me and Suzie was doing it on a semi-regular basis". When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girfriends, and she will write a poem titled "All Men Are Idiots". Then she will get on with her life, usually by meeting another man and doing an emotional belly-flop. A man will call six months after the break-up, at 3:00 a.m. on a Saturday night, and say, "I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I'll never forgive you, and I hate you, and you're a total floozy. But I want you to know there's always a chance for us". This is known as the "I Hate You/ I Love You" drunken phone call, that 99% of all men have made at least once. Women prefer 3040 minutes of foreplay. Men prefer 3040 seconds of foreplay. Men consider driving back to her place as part of the foreplay. Women consider getting married as part of the foreplay. Maturity: Women mature before men do. 17-year-old females can function as adults, but don't. 17-year-old males can't function as adults, and don't care. This is why high school romances rarely work. Handwriting: Women use scented, coloured stationery and they dot their "i's", with circles and hearts. Women use ridiculously large loops in their "p's" and "g's".It is a royal pain to read a note from a woman. Even when she's dumping you, she'll put a smiley face at the end of the note. Men do not decorate their penmanship. They chicken-scratch. Bathrooms: A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items. A woman uses each of them every morning. Groceries: A man waits till the only item left in his fridge are half a lime and a Blue. Then he goes to the grocery store, and buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane. When a woman does this, it is called shopping. Going out: When a man says he is ready to go out, it means he is ready to go out. When a woman says she is ready to go out, it means she WILL be ready to go out, as soon as she finds her earring, finishes putting on her makeup... Cats: Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women are't looking, men kick cats. Dressing up: A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals. David Letterman: Men think David Letterman is the funniest man on the face of the earth. Women think he is a mean, semi-dorky guy who always has a bad haircut. Laundry: Women do laundry every couple of days. A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the laundromat. This is a myth. Weddings: When reminiscing about weddings, women talk about "the ceremony". Men talk about "the bachelor party". Socks: Men wear sensible socks. They wear standard white sweatsocks. Women wear strange socks. They are cut way below the ankles, have pictures of clouds on them, and have a big fuzzy ball on the back. Slippers: Men wear leather slippers that have been brought to them by their faithful dog. Women wear huge fuzzy orange things with faces, that look like puppies. Nicknames: If Gloria, Suzanne, Deborah and Michelle get together for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Deborah and Michelle. But if Mike, Dave, Rob and Jack go out for a brewsky, they will affectionately refer to each other as Bullet-Head, Godzilla, Peanut Brain and Useless. Oleg. --- GoldED 2.40+ ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mikel --- GoldED 2.42 beta, unregistered * Origin: Купюpа в 13 тысяч встpечается довольно pедко (fidonet 2:5020/35.1)
